Victim-hood and the blame game.
- Not too many people think or express that they are the victim.
- Not weakness, just our brain justifying our behavior
- Indicators of victim mentality.
- Blame
o If my spouse would just meet my needs better
o If I just hadn’t looked at porn that first time
o If my church leaders would just help me more
o The house clean on ramsey –
o If only the circumstance was different
o Ask yourself, do I blame anyone else for things that I don’t like about myself or my behavior?
- Defensiveness
o Byron Katie talks about defensiveness as the first act of war
o That person doesn’t know my situation
o My life is different.
o No one else can understand what I’m going through
o No matter what I do it’s never good enough
o Zach driving
o This is a place of defending your actions even though you might want to change but think you don’t know how
o Ask yourself, is there someone in my life that is causing my pain?
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- Complaining
o I just can’t catch a break
o Also, just plain negativity,
o this is never going to work, nothing I do works
o You feel sorry for yourself and feel trapped.
o You know this person in your life, they are constantly looking to engage in a conversation that is negative..
o Building a business has really challenged me in this area
o I just have to ignore those thoughts and move forward with my best plans.
o Ask yourself, do I complain , do I excuse my behavior, are my thoughts and words negative?
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- Key indication is that the stories that you tell involve “someone did something to me” “it happened to me”
- “I was reading the news and the site showed an article that made me want to click further and that took me down the rabbit hole” – it just happened to me
- Be careful about your words – look for a victim and villain
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