This is how you can register for the webinar. https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJA (https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/6615948536985/WN_mO3BbHAVQH-ja0W_oXUfJA)
or you can go straight to my website:
https://www.zachspafford.com/freecall
This is the link to Brene Brown's YouTube video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EXMsKZAeL0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EXMsKZAeL0)
- Brene brown is talks about this in her SUPERSOUL SESSIONS: THE ANATOMY OF TRUST .
- First, Brené references Charles Feltman work on trust and uses his definition.
- Which is, ‘trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else’
- In the case of pornography use, what is it that we spouses making vulnerable?
Darcy:
- For many women, this is right at the top of the list for what they would call a nightmare scenario.
- This is probably something that many of them worry about because of how they anticipate they will feel
- I think the moment you get married you have placed this all important and sacred eternal life in the hands of a partner
- I think the thing that feels most vulnerable when you find out that your husband is using pornography is that you may have just lost everything
- That’s devastating.
- For members you are committing to eternal marriage
- You feel vulnerable
- Wonder if your marriage is in jeopardy
Darcy: What about the users, what are they making vulnerable?
Zach:
- I think this is, for so many men, their greatest failing and for many of us a huge source of shame
- Which, when we are either found out or confess, is a huge moment of vulnerability to the actions of the non-user
- What will they do?
- How will they react?
- How much should I tell them?
- Are all questions that run through our minds.
-
I think its also important to touch on what distrust is as well.
‘Distrust is what I have shared with you that’s important to me is not safe with you.“ again from Charles Feltman
This is really important when we take a look at the two things that are vulnerable for the two parties.
For the men – They have probably just participated in talking about the thing that they are most ashamed of
For the women – they have had the thing they hold most dear ripped up in front of them.
The thing that the men hold dear is their ability to be a worthy, loving husband.
The thing the women hold dear is their ability to have a worthy, loving husband.
Darcy:
So, I think this is a moment where, wives react in a way that takes what the husband has done and puts her in a position of distrust as well.
He has acted in a way that creates distrust by taking the spoken or unspoken agreement that he would not use pornography and not kept it safe.
So, this moment is where she now has his most vulnerable and important sense of self in her hands.
I’ll be honest – the thing I did and the thing so many of us want to do is to tell him we’re leaving or if you keep doing this we are... Support this podcast
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