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How much power does pornography have?
So many of us want pornography to have no power over husbands, over our children, over our own lives.
Yet, so many of us allow pornography to have so much power over us.
Why?
Let’s just talk, for a minute about the attractive capacity of pornography.
Let’s be honest – the human body is beautiful, arousal feels great, climax is enjoyable.
When we see others doing something that is beautiful, arousing and enjoyable even outside of pornography, that fires all kinds of empathic receptors in us.
As humans, part of this group of creatures that our Father in Heaven has put on the earth to learn and grown, empathy and mimicry are key components of our survival and success.
We are also creatures of comparison. We look at someone and we think about how we compare to them. Are we taller or shorter, better looking or not as handsome, stronger or weaker, all of that is part of the game our brains play to determine if we are sexually compatible with or mating rivals with others.
Add to that the human sex response, which is one of the strongest drives within our system, and you can see how pornography might draw you in and keep you entertained for a long time.
When I think of all the things I just mentioned and how so much of our biology drives us toward this highly pleasurable, highly rewarding, low cost option, it’s no wonder that the statics show that in one study of 18-35 year olds over a six month period, 98% of men and 73% of women reported internet pornography use.
That is astounding. I would hope that the figures are lower among LDS Men and Women, but without data on that, I’ll just say that these figures give us a picture of it’s overall usage within society.
So what does someone get from viewing pornography. And again, my goal is to be clear and honest about what I perceive to be the realities of the issue. Just as we discussed on my podcast “get on the map” you need to know where you are so you can get to where you want to be.
From my perspective the number one and most significant reason, and possibly the only reason many people who have a moral objection to pornography viewing continue to view pornography is, pornography relieves uncomfortable or negative feelings.
I want to note that I saw a post on social where a wife was saying that the husband was viewing pornography occasionally but that they were unclear why he kept going back to it. It was something they had tried to figure out, but had no success doing. This is why coaches often say, it’s hard to read the label from inside the bottle.
This is one of those things that demonstrates to me why everyone should have a coach. Tiger Woods has a coach, Tom Brady has a coach, CEO’s, business leaders, world leaders and presidents all have coaches because they want to be the best they can be. And even the most brilliant among us sometimes has trouble seeing how our swing might be adjusted, how our actions might be improved, and how our thoughts are creating a result that is no longer serving us.
For those men and women who are dealing with pornography use that they would rather not have in their lives, most often they are doing so as a way to address the feelings they are untrained in dealing with. What I mean by that is, all of us have coping mechanisms that we use to feel more at ease in various situations, some of them create long term positive outcomes and others create long term negative outcomes.
For most pornography users that I work with, they feel the momentary and immediate relief created by arousal and as a result their... Support this podcast
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