WORK WITH ZACH

How do I know I'm ready to change?

Episode #56

zachspafford.com/freecall How can I tell that I’m ready to change? Costs outweigh the benefits.  -       Buffering provides something -       Acknowledge those benefits. -       How do you want to feel when you think about pornography -       “Client said, I want to feel disgusted.” -       That doesn’t acknowledge what pornography has done for you -        -       That also doesn’t acknowledge what it is costing you -       It is just a judgement that makes you feel disgusted because you like pornography -       So, honestly acknowledging the costs and the benefits of use will allow you to make the cost benefit analysis  -        Wanting vs commitment -       For the better part of 25 years I wanted pornography out of my life.   -       I pleaded with Heavenly Father to take this problem away from me -       For lots of years it was just a want, the way a little girl wants a pony.   -       I would ask and think that I just deserved it because I asked for it.  -       .   -       It wasn’t until after we got married and Darcy found out about my pornography use that I really got committed.  -       It wasn’t until it was costing me my self confidence and I was desperate to stop feeling like a terrible person who was never going to get rid of this problem that I started to take action.  -       I started with bishops, who were great and loved me.  -       They didn’t have the answers, they were there for me to confess but not to give me tools.  -       They sent me to counselors who were there to hear where I was and witness my struggle and validate my feelings, but didn’t have any answers, didn’t have any real world idea of how I was doing and why I was where I was.   -       They just told me I was an addict.   -       So that lead me to the twelve steps… which was full of earnest men, trying to move forward with their lives.  -       but  that time only served to reinforce that I was “powerless against my addiction” -        -  -       Then when we had the twins, I took a step back. I saw that none of this had gotten me where I wanted to go. -       So I committed to figure it out by looking into my own mind, true principles that I could see from a gospel perspective and all the things I learned that made sense from what I had done before.  -        -       This is what being committed looks like.   -       Trying. -       Trying again,  -       Trying something new -       Trying something different -       Trying anything I hadn’t tried before   -       Trying things that were harder than anything I had done before -       I spent $40,000 and... Support this podcast